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A more insidious kind of dom frenzy, or, how not to let one fucked up initial experience take this scene away from you by SubspacedAngel

Someone may have brought you here. As big as the initial experience with them may have been, they have taken you to the door of a potentially much bigger place. Make no mistake; this place is for everyone who wants it. It doesn’t matter how you arrived. You have just as much right to be here, and STAY here as anyone else. Remember that.

There are bad people here. There are good people here, just like other aspects of the world. There are bad people who trick good people into thinking they are good people too. Sometimes we find that out the hard way after we have opened our hearts and submission to them. One thing that I’ve seen that’s really heartbreaking are the doms who run through relationship after relationship quickly, losing them one by one because they are dishonest or worse yet, abusive. You know the type. You see them with a different newbie every couple of weeks at the dungeon, eventually leaving a trail of broken girls at their feet behind them. They go after girls very strongly munches, or vanilla girls on OkCupid, telling them what they wish to hear then disrespecting and eventually destroying them. It’s sad, like watching kittens being abused. You just want to scoop every one of them up and protect them from their own choices of being with this “dom”, but you also know the connection they feel to them clouds their judgment. I try to reach out to those girls to let them know I’m here for the fallout when it happens. And it always does. And they learn (grow) from the experience.

And these guys, they don’t mean to be misogynistic, gigantic, domineering, inept assholes that seek out and destroy sweet little pets that have placed their trust and opened their hearts and submission to them. It’s just who they are. But they are the broken ones, truth be told.

They go after new people because they are the ones who don’t know better. New people for the most part are still getting their footing and it’s a lot easier snaring someone who doesn’t know better, than someone who has been around awhile.

And the mental hold they create is strong, so of course the fallout is just as strong yet almost worse. As they kick your ass out the door, they tell you lies. Things like “I am the only way you can get into parties, dungeons, or munches. Or, “you will be blacklisted if you try to come to events now”. Or, “no one will want you”, or “I am a big person in the scene and people will take my side”. Or any other NONSENSE that insecure D types come up with to keep you under their foot to the very edge of the door, where they throw you out. But guess what? Here’s hope for you. You CAN land on your feet. You can find your strength, and you can remain here.

The TRUTH is, you need to find your worth. You have made choices which didn’t benefit you, so take those lessons and move forward. You are beautiful and deserve respect. Despite falling into the wrong hands when entering, unknowingly walking straight into a spider web, despite the luck of the draw, or irony, fate, the universe or whatever reasons your rough start occurred, there’s hope. I’m here to tell you.

You say “But I don’t know where to start”? There are a lot of fantastic experiences to be had here but you have to pick yourself up and try! Find your drive. FIND YOUR PLACE. Explore different avenues. Go to your “events” tab at the top of this page, look at what is near you. Find local groups, make an introduction, find your courage and maybe a friend to go with and get out there again. Look for submissive friends who have been here awhile. They can really be helpful. There is no better teacher than experience. In time you will see things more clearly.

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Reprinted with permission, the original article can be found here: SubspacedAngel on FetLife

 

 


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