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Social Networks

I love FetLife for its ability to let you connect with people you met at a local munch or play party but didn’t exchange emails with. It is also a great place to find events in your neck of the woods.

But FetLife like so many other social networking experiments comes up short in the area of disseminating knowledge or facilitating real discussion. You will find countless groups dedicated to answering questions about the lifestyle however few if any are imune to the constant personal attacks so common on the internet. Far too many threads start out as worthwhile postings, only to deteriorate into people trying to Win at Any Cost in what should have been a educational discussion.

And while there is no single "True Way", it quickly becomes apparent after listening to the constant arguments in social networks that far too many people are more interested in "Being Right" or "Winning" than in disseminating valuable information or participating in productive discussions.

The desire to "Win an Argument" is not new Arthur Schopenhauer a German philosopher documented 38 Strategies for winning an argument in his book "The Art of Controversy" translated into English in 1896. (see more on this in this article Resources for Arguments )

These strategies do not encourage discussion they are designed to end discussion leaving the winner the last person to post rather than the person with the most persuasive opinions. Once you have read this paper you will immediately recognize how pervasive these tactics have become in our online forums.

Your goal should be to find sources of information that are accurate and presented by persons that are well informed. For that reason I recommend you spend your time wisely and avoid any group or forum that practices any of these techniques.

Links below open in another window or tab.

Fetlife.com --- FetLife is free and one of the larges of this kind of site. It is said that to keep from deteriorating into a meat market as other similar sites have they decided to restricted searches for other users.

Collarme.com --- Free site has good search and free mail

Bondage.com --- Free to join but requires payment for many features

Alt.com --- Free to join but requires payment for many features

Kinkyspace.com A free Social Networking Site For Kinky Friends

Twitter.com --- Run searched for BDSM, Bondage, Shabari

BDSM.com --- Free

 

Finding Groups and Munches in FetLife

We all know that finding the right group in FetLife can be difficult.

The Munch and Local Link (Mall) Directory Has done some of the work for you and offer these two threads listing the groups in Calif.

California A-K

California L-Z

The FetLife Index of Groups has also done a great job of providing some order out of the chaos

 


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