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Being Better Than This, in On-line Discussions by cloudb

Please read my Resources for Arguments which offers some resources and comments on un-fair tactics of rhetoric. This is really a continuation of that thread.

And how do we do that, be better than this? Better than communication blocking, de-railing trollism?

In my opinion, it starts with a honest commitment to play fair. That's a commitment that may need to be re-examined and renewed, when doubts arise.

It is fed by reasonable expectations about what the communication may achieve. No one has to have, or is likely to have, all the answers and perspectives which can contribute. No one can is likely to do a 180 turn-around in their opinions or beliefs based on one conversation (no matter how brilliant the contributions, how great the consensus displayed, or what authorities are cited.)

Rarely will there be zero points of agreement or understanding; have the balls, ovaries or guts to admit points of agreements! Rarely will your understanding of a differing view be 100%; have the honesty to ask questions and ask for clarification.

Be aware that everyone involved, including you, may have frustrations outside the topic under discussion. People get tired. People need to pee. Some people hurt, physically or mentally or socially, all the time, or at least too much of it. People wish their ex had not left them, or had left sooner, or that they had (or had not) taken the dog. Try and have some compassion and kindness, because everyone could use it. But don't expect to compensate for un-met emotional needs via discussions. Deal with your life, rather than pour your personal frustrations onto the internet like so much pee and vomit.

From a successful conversation, everyone can end up happier and wiser; if you fail to contribute to that, you FAILED. Success is neither agreement nor disagreement at the end; it is in the process.

If you fail to achieve success despite your best efforts - at least you tried your best. Maybe you can gain some insight into what went wrong (rather than in who is to blame).

What's fair tactics? See.Better and Better, more on Communication

 

 


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